Filters, photo shop, lies, paint, makeup, judgement; are all used to hide the ugliness that we think is underneath. I’ll admit that I have used all of these in one form or another. The reason is because I was afraid of what people would think or how they would react if they saw what I was hiding. Is it not more beautiful to see the real, authentic, true or raw in a photo, person, and story? I admire more, the photos that are untouched and yet still are striking than a picture that is even better but had a ton of touching up on it. Who are we trying to impress with the fake? People are going to talk badly no matter how you present yourself. One day you look amazing and people are talking bad to make themselves feel better and another day it is just not your day of beauty and they cast stones for actually looking bad. If you are one of those people that hates on others to make yourself feel better, you are only harming yourself. That person that you are talking about is probably not concerned about your opinion, they potentially know that:
“No one has ever made himself great by showing how small someone else is.” -Irvin Himmel
Since the introduction of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram, I feel that there is more pressure now than ever to be perfect. I see tweets, posts, photos, of “perfect couples,” (that I know are struggling behind the scenes) “perfect kids,” (every kid is a human therefore there are always going to be times that are hard-they are kids!) “perfect job,” “perfect situation,” and “perfect life.” After we see these status updates we reflect on our own life and think: man my life is really boring(I need to get out more), I wish my significant other was like this person’s significant other, I wish my wedding was that extravagant, their job sounds amazing (I hate my job), I wish I could travel like they do, and fill in the blank of the thoughts that come to your mind when you see these statuses. In reality though, it ALWAYS looks better on social media. ESPECIALLY profile pictures:
There is always that phrase about the grass being greener somewhere over there. This phrase has been used a lot but the truth stays. A single person is lonely and wants to be in a relationship while a person in a relationship wants more freedom and misses the life of singleness, a woman wants to produce a baby while a mother misses her life without that bundle of joy responsibility, a person wanting to be crazy in shape while the crazy in shape person misses being able to eat whatever they want. Whichever side that you are on you are always peeking over.
This is not a call to action to have people stop using tools to make things look better but to make you feel better about yourself and your own life, and to maybe look a bit deeper of what is being shown. Most the time when a person is trying so hard to make everything look spectacular they are suffering inside. Maybe if you are living this life, show a little ugly, your true friends will laugh with you or check in with you to see if you are okay; people appreciate the realness. How awesome is it to look at photos of celebrities without makeup?!?
It is not to make fun of them but to remember that they are human too and no one can look flawless all the time, it is just not possible. We are all flawed, need help, and need grace for our lives. There is comfort in knowing that we are all flawed in some way.
Some ugly in my life is that once in a blue moon I wish that I had delayed in having a baby, but I love him to death and I know that when I am older I will be so glad that I had him when I was young. It makes getting to where you want to go a little more difficult but I am confident that we will get there just not in the timeline as someone would without kids. There are so many things that I want like a house, another vehicle, vacations, and everything else materialistic, all will come when it is time but it so hard to wait! What I have learned though is to be joyful in the waiting, most of our lives we spend waiting, it would be wise to get good at it. I am also self conscious about my oily skin, it has come a loooong way since high school but I still wish for beautiful skin, I also do not like the bump on my nose (family curse)and refuse to do profile pictures. Just like the other 100% of women in America I wish to lose a couple of pounds, there is always room for improvement.
Whichever blemish you have, try embracing it. Confidence is sexier than self-consciousness. When you are having a low, I would advise not surfing a social media site as they tend to make you feel worst about yourself. Do remember that what things are and what things appear to be are completely different.
Thank you for reading! Criticism, praise, suggestion, thoughts, questions, please leave them with me 🙂