Close your eyes, breathe in, breathe out…you WILL get through this. Hold onto those words, you WILL get through this. There is life after this part of your life, an abundance of life that is waiting for you. This heartbreak is not your life, it is PART of your life, this part of your life will either make you bitter or better. You can choose to keep getting hurt by visiting these feelings repetitively while never moving on; or, you can heal, forgive, and love again. This time of recovery is a process, you cannot skip steps and speed your way to living in peace again. This is not Candy Land where you can skip most of the board, visit Queen Frostine and soon win the game. There are going to be good days and bad days, I think the worst day is the day after you were let go-I may sound like an employer but “dumped” is such a harsh term, or maybe you are the one who called it off because you knew that this relationship was not meant for you but of course it is painful still. I only heard the “breakup words,” once and it felt like someone in the distance was listening in and as soon as they heard the exact words of, “I hope we can still be friends,” they threw a brick Tom Brady style smashing me in the face and then threw a watermelon that hit hard directly in the gut.
The day after:
- Typically is spent in a daze, like WTFreak just happened?! I gave X-amount of time with this person, what a waste.
- Blaming is a common action to jump to, blaming the other person or blaming yourself for the split.
- A parent, BFF, close relative, or someone of comfort is called and they hear the whole story of how you should not have even been with that person anyways and how you are better off-but really you are dying inside.
- Statuses may or may not be changed at this point, if it ended badly then you were “single” last night with an updated profile picture and all couple photos deleted. For the people hoping that this is just a couple of days thing, they will keep the status as “In A Relationship” but keeping a close eye on what the other person is doing with their status and once they change theirs you must change yours immediately!
- No big changes in life happen right away because you still are recovering from getting hit by a bus.
During the week after:
- A cry it out fest probably won’t happen until a couple of days after the break up, when you finally have accepted that it is over and all of the emotions catch up with you. This is splurge time, forget about your comeback body right now, eat the ice cream, chips & guacamole until you are green or whatever else you turn to for comfort food.
- Daydreams of what to do, now that you are single, start to fill your head. Ireland? 24 Hours of WOW?
- Ideas of how to “get back at them” without them knowing it, like achieving killer abs, uploading a ton of pictures to social media of how much fun you are having now without them and spreading rumors of a new romance to your ex’s closest people.
I swear I started this post on a serious note.
Let us get started on the “you after that person.”
First question is, do you want that person back or is your life better without them? Whichever the answer the following could be used for either:
- Often people advise to get rid of everything that reminds you of that person, but I think that you should just put it all into a box, maybe one day you could show your kids of someone that you were with before you met their mom or dad. I think it would have been interesting to know who was with my mom or dad before they were together. Then again I definitely know who they were with after they were together…Maybe ask someone to hold onto the box until you are able to have it near you and not get emotional about it to the point where it hurts. If you do get back with your ex you will probably need that box back…
- Of course there is the idea of going crazy on comfort food, but don’t go too crazy you need to work on that after break up body 😉 For a better form of comfort I would suggest a day at the spa-if you can afford it-, something with a rush feeling like bungee jumping, skydiving, or riding extreme roller coaster rides.
- It might sound a little feminine for a guy but write it out dude-I don’t need to tell the girls this because they already have a book published on this breakup. Even if you delete everything you write after you are done, it is so good to just write out however you are feeling without worrying if someone is judging you. I would recommend saving it though so that if you ever wonder if you made the right decision or not, you can go back and read what you wrote to remind you of the pain that you went through. Or if you get back together with your ex share with them what you wrote to help them better understand the hurt that you felt.
- You need some distance, however much is up to you. Both of you need time to be alone and evaluate the decision that has been made whether it to be permanent or that you only need a break. Honestly, when there are too many “breaks” in a relationship that is a big red flag that it’s not going to work out. Also, decide if you want distance from only that person or all people together. Definitely do not go into hibernation where no one can find you, but distancing yourself from people who have too much influence on your life is best. This next decision needs to come from you.
- If you are the addictive type make sure that you enlist your buddies to make sure that you do not go down a bad path. Instead direct your addiction to something that will help you like hitting the gym hard, going on a crazy nutritious diet, practice something new until you are Beethoven, or Mozart.
- After your heart has fully healed you need to stage your comeback, the “you in 5D.” That’s right because now you can taste, hear, smell, touch AND see better. Take a million selfies, switch up your wardrobe, show off that awesome new bod, have awesome events planned with a lot of friends and make sure that they know that you are ready to fully move on. The easiest way to move on from someone is to find someone else but don’t take the easy way because you could get hurt even more doing this. Starting to date again is like soy sauce on sushi, my version of frosting on the cake, you need to make the sushi first-heal yourself.
Please do remember that a breakup is bound to happen if that person just is not for you. Do not lose hope, you will find that person but improve on yourself first, if you want the perfect person, first you have to be the perfect you. Be patient, wouldn’t you want to wait for the right one rather than be with the wrong one now? And don’t we all want to find love like the couple in UP???
Some Heartbreak quotes that you can pin, tweet, or update your status with:
“Don’t feel sad over someone who gave up on you, feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them.” -Frank Ocean
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment below of what you thought, I love to hear from my readers! ❤