Today it has been 6 years that my husband and I have been together (Yup, he asked me out on Black Friday). This whole week I have been reflecting upon all that we have experienced together and I wanted to share our story with all of you. I also wanted this to be written down somewhere so that my children can read it one day.
The Hubs and I met at work, which was Target. I had just moved to New Hampshire from California to live with family and for a fresh start. I applied to several jobs and took the first two that called me, which were Charlotte Russe and Target. I met the Hubs on my first day and I remember the exact moment that I saw him, he was standing by the time clock in a white beater (Target’s apparel code is red shirt and khaki pants). After I clocked in I walked by him, and his first words to me were: “Whassup?” Not even “What’s up”, nope, not him, his first words to me were the slang gangster talk of: How are you doing? With this, I can’t say that I was swooned right away, also being that my last job just the past week was volunteering at a church and taking care of kids, the “bad boy type” wasn’t quite doing it for me…yet. I remember for the first couple of days of working, whenever I saw him from a distance he would be staring at me, not looking, or even turning away when I would catch his gaze, nope, he was 100% on the hunt. We also worked with the Hubs’ brother at the time and he was the one who trained me. I remember my brother-in-law asking me about my parents and I told him that my dad was very well off. At the exact moment that I said that, the Hubs came over to where we were working and my brother-in-law told the Hubs, “Hey, her dad is rich.” At that point the Hubs looked over at me and said, “So we’re getting married right?” Only the second time encountering each other and I received a semi-proposal from him.
After that, it still took the Hubs a couple of days to finally talk to me, I guess he was so intimidated by my intelligence and beauty (haha). He was actually pushed to start a conversation with me, that my brother-in-law initiated, my brother-in-law was giving me rides to and from Target (I was without a car, being that I just moved there). One day he asked the Hubs to give me a ride home because he had something to do. I remember that ride home ever so clearly. It was only a 10 minute drive, but oh man, he really tried to be the slickest guy ever, but he succeeded, he got my phone number when he was dropping me off. From that point on we have been joint at the hip, we would text each other all day, hang out on our breaks at work and find any reason to be together. I remember specifically we would go to the aisle that had bean bags at work and would lay them all out and take a nap on them (working overnights was rough). I was hesitant at first about the Hubs because he had a half sleeve of tattoos, (at the time I wasn’t a fan of them), he smoked, he drank, and he had a sailor mouth. All of the things that at the time I was completely against; but, I saw his heart. I saw how sweet he was to everyone around him, how he would drive the half hour to pick me up from my house drive me 5 minutes to my second job, to then go back to his house to study for his classes, to then do it all over when my shift was done. I loved how hard of a worker he was, how he was an awesome listener, and how he would walk to the moon for the people he cared about.
Only 3 weeks after getting to know each other we had our first kiss and this is how he asked me out, (he’s going to kill me haha) “Soooo, are we going out?” To this day I tease him about it, but hey it worked. We dated for about 3 months and then I moved in with him and his family. I do not recommend this, I did not want to go this route especially after knowing each other for such a short period of time, but my family that I was living with went crazy on me, and I truly had no where else to go. After about 10 months of living with his family we got our first apartment together, we were so scared being only 20 & 21. It turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made. Shortly after we got our own apartment we got our first kitten together, (Moose), we got better jobs, (again working together at the same company), and we were hacking away at college classes while figuring out what we wanted to do career wise. 2.5 years after dating we decided we wanted to get married but we couldn’t afford a big fancy wedding, so we eloped at the local town hall. We did this in secrecy because we didn’t want our family & friends to be mad that we only wanted it to be the 2 of us there. We kept our marriage a secret for about 10 months. One year after being married we decided we wanted to be parents and became pregnant on our first try with our beautiful son. After he was born we wanted to see what was in store for us in California, and moved out here the summer of 2014.
There is a lot more to that story that I will address in following blog posts; there’s just too much to write about in one posting, and I don’t like when posts are really long, who has time for that?!
Through all of what we have experienced we have been there for each other 100%. I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I love this man so much. I don’t love him in the same amount when we first started dating, I love him more. When people “fall out of love,” it is such crap, that love for that person should grow and especially in a marriage. We both know that marriage is for life, and it breaks my heart when people give up on something that can be so beautiful (that is in the issues that can be worked out, I understand there are circumstances that it really cannot be worked out). We always tell each other that we would kill one another before we ever were to agree to divorce. To us, marriage is stronger than death. I have recently been talking to people who have been married for 20+ years and I know that the good Lord has placed them in my life for a purpose, we speak about marriage and I ask them their story, and each time they were married very young, right out of high school. I will say something like you guys are very lucky that it worked, and they turn to me and say oh no, you MAKE it work. I just love hearing that, and I have noticed that the ones who have stayed married for so long, get that marriage takes a lot of work. It doesn’t just happen, feelings don’t come falling from the sky. About two years after dating is when those butterflies aren’t there anymore (studies have shown). What makes couples stay together after they don’t FEEL like being together? LOVE, they CHOOSE to be together and work hard on their relationship. LOVE is NOT a feeling, it’s a CHOICE. You need to choose to love that person and the feelings will come after. If you are reading this and are shaky on your marriage and where it’s going, hang tight! Pray over your marriage, and ask God to reveal to you how to work on it and how to repair it, He will LOVE to answer that prayer. He wants you to be with your spouse, divorce breaks His heart. You have to be completely willing though.
Our marriage has never been perfect, and honestly it breaks my heart to say; but, we almost were headed towards divorce, that’s going to be another post though. We fought for us though, and we prayed, and now here we are, celebrating 6 years together. Not everyday is going to be good, there will be days that it are flat out ugly, but hang tight, God can make any mess into something beautiful.
I hope all of you had the most wonderful Thanksgiving, God bless you all, and thank you for reading 🙂 Here are some pictures from our Marriage Timeline, I hope you enjoy!
Our first picture ever taken together, also our first Valentine’s Day:
First Halloween together:
First Christmas in our own apartment:
First car together:
Hub’s 24th birthday:
We’re going to be parents!
It’s a boy!
Halloween while pregnant:
Moving to Cali (Yup, we drove across…)
6th Valentine’s Day together, in Hollywood!
Thanksgiving of 2015: