Happy Thanksgiving!! Today we reflect upon what we are thankful for and I have been doing this for the past two weeks because God has released the flood gates of blessings on our lives, He has always blessed us but just recently we have just been overwhelmed and I want to share what’s been going on in our lives! And an explanation of why I haven’t posted anything in 3 months…
First off the last time I posted was about my surrogate embryo transfer, unfortunately the transfer was not successful. That’s all I am going to say about that in this post because I will be writing about it in depth in another post that I will be publishing probably this weekend. Even though it’s sad news there has been events that happened, as of just last night, that I am thankful for in that category.
To set a picture of our lives when we first moved to California last summer (2014) I would like to write about what happened when we first moved here. The plan was to move in with my mother and for her to help us get on our feet by helping out financially so we can pay off debt and helping with our newborn son and in turn we were going to help in other ways for a trade off. Things fell through and we had to get a place of our own which we were not expecting. Money was so tight being that I went part time after our son was born and moving expenses were huge also; we were living by the dollar after I was hired at a local warehouse and cleaning a house on Saturdays.We were barely approved for the apartment because of our income, you have to gross 2.7 times the amount of rent and we were approved by that requirement by just $20.
Being hired at that warehouse was the start of the blessings when we moved here, it’s the best paying warehouse job that I have heard of, and it’s also very difficult to be hired there; I was ecstatic when I received a job offer. When we moved to California we sold all of our stuff and packed it all into our SUV and drove across. When we got our own place in Cali we had barely anything and on top of that no money to buy the things you need like pots and pans, a bed, etc. Thankfully our son was all taken care of, we brought his crib with us and he always comes first, he was never without anything. We were so broke that we were sleeping on an air mattress, our TV was on the floor, I ate a sandwich and fruit bar for work and we couldn’t do anything on my days off to save money for gas. Our diet was also terrible with eating ramen noodles, mostly pasta dinners with canned pasta sauce, etc. It sucked, but honestly it wasn’t that bad, at the time we were quite pissed about our situation but I look back and think even in our “bad situation,” it’s better than most people living in this world. But coming from what we had before we moved out here, we didn’t realize how good we had it. This whole experience of moving out here has been such a humbling and rebuilding experience for us as people, as parents, and for our marriage.
We didn’t want to put our son in daycare because we have a very hard time trusting people, especially listening to horror stories from the news about what goes on in day cares, that and day care is really expensive, at the time the price of daycare would have taken up most of one of our incomes anyways, so we decided it was better that one of us stay home with the little guy. The Hubs started school immediately last fall and is still working on his degree today, and I was working 6 days a week. We were so stressed during this time that we started verbally attacking each other. Our marriage was suffering, the Hubs felt terrible for not working and I missed my son so much, to make things even more difficult for me, I was still breastfeeding, my pump became my best friend, but carrying that thing around 6 days a week was very annoying; but, I was thankful for technology that there was a way that I could still feed my baby in the best way while working so much.
The December after we moved here I was finally able to quit my cleaning job because the warehouse I was working for gives out this very generous bonus at the end of the year. We decided to use that money to supplement income so I can spend more time with my precious son. That’s when things started to get better. Now I’m working a normal 5 day a week schedule but I still am really missing my boy and the Hubs is still feeling extremely guilty for not being the sole provider for the family. So we switched! I got him into the job I was at and he has been doing so much better, he loves coming home to his family…and my cooking 😉 That was spring of this last year (2015) Shortly after he started working, my surrogacy journey started and I also started working at a part time job that had an off schedule from the Hub’s schedule, so one of us is always with our son. Again, HUGE blessing to find a job that works with my current limited schedule. Over the summer I was accepted into a local universities’ online program to continue my education to receive a Bachelor’s Degree, which is one of my dreams. School started about two months ago, and I absolutely love it.
Another blessing just happened when a previous co-worker asked me to babysit their child during the week in the comfort of my own home. That has been working out great, now my son has a playmate and I can generate even more revenue to really help us get out of debt, all without leaving my own home. Also, having two toddlers to look after has given me a very accurate idea of how life will be when we have baby #2.
With the Hubs going to school, he received a grant at an amount that they have mailed him the excess balance after the tuition was paid. Then in December he is getting the same bonus that I received from that company last year.
Now we are both going to school, we are both working, we were able to buy a bed, a couch, a TV stand, a desk for our computers, pots & pans to cook with and all the other essentials that you need to run a house hold. We also have a much better diet that is filled with meats, mostly organic foods, home cooked meals and all the goods. All while our son never having to go to daycare which was the most important to us. We have never been stronger in our marriage, we have never been closer to our families, even though most of them live on the other coast. I wake up at 3am to go to work 5 days out of the week and my day isn’t over until 9pm, I have long but fulfilling days. I love both of my jobs, I love the people I am around, I love my husband and I definitely love the little boy I have been blessed with. We are all so healthy, on such a good path, and everyday is such a blessing, and I thank God for providing for us when things were tough and in our prosperous days; for helping us withstand the storms and giving us the strength to do so. I hope my story inspires you to hang on, a year ago today, I felt like I was going to be swallowed up by the waves with how much stress I was under, but here I am now doing so well and I am so entirely thankful for that. I hope that you too can be thankful for what you have no matter how little or how much.
Tv on the ground:
My adorable son and our lovely air mattress in the back:
We also bought these college dorm chairs because we couldn’t afford a couch and were sitting on the floor to watch TV: