One of the things that I love about marriage is that you don’t have to deal with the pressure of dating anymore. I remember being so frustrated while dating trying to figure out if this guy was just as into me as I was into him. A first date is a very serious event, it could be the first time since a person’s divorce, the first time since their significant other passed away, the first time since one got out of an abusive relationship, or the first date that someone has ever gone on period. Entering into this commitment of going out on a date with this person, keep all these things in the back of your mind, you don’t know what this person is going through, so be kind, courteous and respectful the whole time.
Pick somewhere that it’s easy to have conversation~A concert, movie, anywhere that there is going to be loud noise should be avoided until a couple of dates after. It’s good to really engage in conversation to see if you connect with this person. If all you do is listen to loud noise, well you didn’t really go on a date rather you just went somewhere with the person. You need to get to know each other, a cozy restaurant, the beach, carnival, (to show off your awesome rifle skills and win her a big teddy) are easier because while you are talking you are also doing something, if there is a moment of silence you can fill it with your mouth being full of food. 😉
The man always needs to pick up the tab~Even if she sincerely insists that she pays her half, don’t let her. She is testing you, to see if you are going to take control of the situation and pay the bill. This whole date is both of you testing each other to see if there is going to be a future. And dudes, she is already testing to see if she is going to take your last name or not.
The day after, the guy needs to get in touch~Man up, grow some chest hair, or grow a pair and call her. Even if you don’t think there is going to be another date you need to tell her. She is going to go crazy waiting for you to call her, do her a favor and let her know that you had an awesome night or that you had an awesome night but there probably won’t be another one. She will be hurt but she will appreciate your honesty later on when she gets over it.
Light conversation~Like I was explaining in the intro, you don’t know what this person is going through so it’s best not to ask too deep of questions just yet. You are only testing the waters and seeing if one there is a physical attraction and two if you like talking to the person. Save the how many kids do you want? type of questions until much later on.
Casual clothing~Of course you are going to want to look your best, but don’t over do it. Girls if you overdress you could come off as very intimidating and he will have a hard time talking to you. Guys, if you overdress now she is going to expect you to dress like that all the time.
No kisses yet~A hug should be enough to end the night, there was already so much pressure as it was going on the first date. Plus it’s a lot more fun when there is built up anticipation for something as magical as a first kiss to experience. Wait for the perfect moment, it will make such a good story.
Conversation starters~Bring a cue card with some ideas, it might sound nerdy but it’s better to be nerdy than to be staring at each other with blank faces not being able to think of anything to talk about. Here are some suggestions:
- How was your day?
- Have you ever texted “LOL” and not laughed?
- Dog person or cat person?
- Do you talk during movies?
- What are you passionate about?
- Do you put empty milk cartons in the fridge?
- When is the last time you have been on a date?
Deal breakers~These are red flags that you should be looking out for during the whole entire date:
- How they treat other people
- If they bring up past relationships
- If they talk harshly about someone
- How they are dressed, does it look like they tried?
- How much they talk about themselves
- Body language, wandering eyes; are they leaning in to really understand you? Or bored with what you have to say.
Tell me about a first date that went terribly wrong or wonderfully right, I would love to read!
Thank you for reading! 🙂